dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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