Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
