Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
