am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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