Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it

(734): View more from Michigan

Thanks?

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(513): View more from Ohio

CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....

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(850): View more from Florida

Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.

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(515): View more from Iowa

When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"

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(251): View more from Alabama

I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.

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(817): View more from Texas

you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with

(214): View more from Texas

Did it work?

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