A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
