i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
