So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Randomize
