there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
