and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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