the condom got lost in my hair
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Randomize
