Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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