New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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