I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
