The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
