Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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