i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
