I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
worst night to have a conscience
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
