This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
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He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
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I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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