Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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