I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
