Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I still have a little drunk in my system
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
