Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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