I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He's on the porch naked. Help.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
