she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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