You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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