4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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