do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
