does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
