Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
PANTIES FOUND
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
