Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
