Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
