i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I need a hoe opinion
go on
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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