Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize