How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
