The maid of honor just puked.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
this will be a night to untag.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
