His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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