i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
only you would photoshop your dick
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
