Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
