my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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