I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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