i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
