And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
