You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize