I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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