My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
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