no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
