Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
