So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I supernannyed him into submission
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
