i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
