worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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