It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He did a backflip because drugs
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
