Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
