i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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